The paradox of awakening, the kalpataru of Sri Caitanya & my vision for the future

It's a bit of a cosmic joke that to "awaken to their true self" people don't have to change at all, they don't have to change their lifestyles or their spiritual practice, or their habits or any other doings, or what they read or how they worship. But they always ask about exactly these things, about how they have to change, how they have to improve, what they have to do, and which God they have to worship. Spiritual teachers are also no help to us here; their whole enterprise being about helping people who come to them asking for advice; prescribing mantras, kriyas, yogas to attain something, to achieve something, to become something. 

And this paradox that the spoken word is not able to traverse is created precisely because there is no possible way to quantify or communicate the immensity of the experience of god-consciousness. It is like telling someone about what drowning or dying feels like, one can only attempt to point towards the experience but cannot reveal the nature of the experience itself. 

Because of this paradox I am faced by an immense difficulty that appears as a dark cloud over my present. How do I share my experience? How do I sing my song? How do I show people the way forward for the fulfillment of all the good desires that they have in my heart - now that all my desires are fulfilled? There are so many people around me who have been witness to my journey so far, so many people with whom I wish I could experience this joy with together? How do we get rid of widespread ignorance, poverty and suffering? It seems like I myself cannot be happy unless I spread my wings and tell everyone about my experience and let them enjoy with me - the great joys of being! 

In this regard, I have been very lucky to read the story of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's having grown a desire tree of devotional service (kalpataru or kalpavriksha) on Earth by embodying the kalpataru himself. I think it holds the secret for the way forward for me for the realization of my dream and the dreams of my friends, family and companions. The verses of the Caitanya Charitamrita say: 


śrī-caitanya mālākāra pṛthivīte āni’
bhakti-kalpataru ropilā siñci’ icchā-pāni


"Thus the Lord brought the desire tree of devotional service to this earth and became its gardener. He sowed the seed and sprinkled upon it the water of His will." (C.C. Ādi 9.9)


The Kalpataru or the Kalpavriksa is a divine wish fulfilling tree. The verses after the quoted verse above detail how Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu manifested and maintained the tree which ordinarily belongs to the Gods in heaven inside his own being. His associates, friends, and companions became the branches of the tree while he formed the main trunk. The tree spread the fruits of the love for Krishna all over India as the branches grew and flourished over time. Innumerable branches grew from the Kalpataru of Sri Caitanya, with great branches covering the entire universe. The branches were the friends and associates of Sri Caitanya, and they formed the society of Vaishnavas that today spread love for the name of Krishna all over the world. Such a tree is required to fulfill the dreams of the nation, such a tree is required to realize my vision for this world...


(Tibetan representation of the Kalpataru) 

In this I hope that the Lord is not angered by me thinking that my task on this Earth is as great as the task of Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu himself. Not only do I have to experience and enjoy and spread the love of the Lord, I feel like I need to bring the nation the entire nation in a position to realize their good and virtuous dreams for our common future. I want Bharatvarsa to flourish and realize itself, and not only in religion, but in any and all the fields of life which lead to human well-being. I want to father a new India, one that realizes happiness. Therefore, my dream is not just aimed at those who perform devotional service to Krishna but anyone who performs actions towards the fulfillment of reasonable and virtuous goals. 

I solemnly hope that the Lord dearest, his divine consort and all the Gods of the entire universe are with me in this path that is chosen for me as much as I have chosen it for myself. As of today, the message spreads.. Without my having realized it myself, the seeds of the kalpataru are really growing in some of the people I have met in my life... More on that later, though.. 

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